The 7 Steps to Getting over a Break-Up
With Valentines Day approaching, I can’t help but to think about relationships and love. This time of year is for the love birds and you find so many articles and blogs giving out great tips on things to do for your special one. I’m here to impact and help those of you that are going through a break up so that you can naturally get through this process with grace, more confidence, and a renewed purpose for your future relationship.
Have you recently had your own break-up? Not being able to focus on anything but that… losing lots of sleep, finding it difficult to smile or eat. Everywhere you look, you see flowers, bears and candy. It seems as if every song on the radio is about you and you’re thinking, “IF I hear another damn love song…”
I know exactly what that is like. I have had my heart completely broken. I couldn’t eat, sleep… nothing. It was so bad I had to take a double dose of sleeping pills for two weeks. One night as I was taking my pills, I looked at myself and said “this is the last night I’m taking these pills! Tomorrow, I’m taking my life back!“ I had given my power away for too long. Now, I want to share with you what worked for me and allowed me to clear the room I needed to find the love of my life and got me down the aisle. You will find love again.
1. Give yourself time to feel - I do have to say that I did just that. Not knowing at the time, I experienced the 5 stages of grieving. Denial, remorse, anger, depression, and finally acceptance. The amount of time is different for different people but I encourage you to not spend too much time here. Get to acceptance ASAP. Which brings me to our next one.
2. Forgiveness- This is key. Now it’s time to heal. Once you accomplish this, you are on your way. Forgiveness is so powerful in your journey to getting your life back because you are able to release the negative emotions. Forgive them and yourself. Hell, forgive your entire past. Just forgive. People tend to place blame on themselves for failed relationships. There is no need for that. Trust me. It is not your fault alone. The past is the past. It’s about forgive, forget and move on.
3. Surround yourself with your support system- Friends and family will keep your mind off of things and hopefully keep you laughing. When things get tough, the people who love you the most seem to always know what to say. They are also great to talk to about how you’re feeling at your weaker moments.
4. Get Busy- Fill your time up with as many productive things as possible. Focus on your job, rediscover your passion for your old hobbies or just get a new hobby. With more time on your hands, now you can start focusing a lot more on you and the things you love about life.
5. Get A New Look- Now is a great time to go shopping. Get a new wardrobe, join the gym and get that body you have always wanted. Your confidence will build and you will feel better about yourself again. Try moving furniture around ( or get someone to move it for you ) to change the look of your surroundings. It all makes you feel renewed and fresh.
6. Set New Relationship Goals- Decide what type of relationship you will have the next time around. Throw the old list away. Instead of focusing on how you want your new man to be, or look. Write a list of emotions you want him to make you feel. For instance, He makes you laugh and feel safe, special, secure, loved, sexy, honored, respected and cherished. These are all deep emotions, not shallow or on the surface. Too many list now a days are too shallow and they decrease your odds of finding true love. Like he has to be tall, dark, make lots of money, a particular education or position. What if he is shorter than you like but perfect for you? You would block your blessing because you have a height requirement. Does that make since? This is a time for you to make yourself into the person that you would like your new man to be. Focus on what you would like to give and everything else will fall into place.
7. Know that you’re special- There is only one you and that alone makes you special. You are precious to the balance of the earth. Deserving of all things pure and good that the universe has to offer. You deserve honor, respect and infinite love. The fact that you were born proves that you are supposed to be here. Now that you are here, take advantage of the abundance of expanding possibilities. How you feel about yourself ultimately decides the type of person you end up with. If you love yourself then you will only be with someone who loves you as well.
Quick Tip: A common mistake that people make is taking the luggage from one relationship to the next. Put that bag down. Allow everyone the opportunity to prove who they are. You wouldn’t want anyone judging you based on their past relationship would you?